I feel like winter. I want to feel like spring.

My blahs haven’t improved. It’s been a boring, mundane, challenging week. Still haven’t touched a drop of alcohol-and I’m so glad for that. But in general I think I’m just avoiding everything and staying to myself. Yes, it has a lot to do with my damn crutches. And yes, I will keep whining about them until they are gone. What I won’t do is drink my sorrow away. That in itself is worth the crappy week.

I’m sharing this not to complain or not to discourage anyone who has also chosen not to drink. But rather to show the reality. Last week everything was shiny and rosy- and when I shared I wondered if it would come across as B.S. “I stopped drinking and now I’m so happy, and it’s been so easy.” If it were that easy and happy – then why hadn’t I done it before, all the other times I planned to stop? It is how I felt, but I knew it wouldn’t last. Life isn’t all joy all the time. Why should this journey reflect anything differently.

I don’t think the real temptations and challenges have happened yet. Yes, taking the first step to put down the bottle and admit that alcohol was a problem in my life is HUGE, and I am proud of myself. I just want to be realistic and be prepared. “Plan for the worst, expect the best”

Today’s strategy

No anxiety this morning from not drinking. Drinking would have made my low mood today, so much worse!

  • Pull myself up from my britches and put on foot in front of the other
  • Fake it til I make it
  • Get out tonight-no sitting around watching TV. (Ok, that’s to vague)
  • ……..Dinner out-somewhere with a patio

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