Feelin’ Friday

It’s been a week! So glad it’s Friday.

I’m also glad I’m feeling. Not suppressing feelings with alcohol. I’m more open, more eager, still fearful and clumsy- but not so bad.

I had a great visit with my dad. It’s not always so great… I grew up with him in a very alcoholic- dysfunction family. I am always guarded, waiting for a “blow up”. But it was very pleasant and I felt some walls come down.

Keeping vigilant watch over my booze free life

I dreamt again about “accidentally” having a glass of wine and blowing my alcohol free status. It’s been a week now and it seems like forever, like I don’t have an issue and could easily drink “normally”. IT’S A LIE! I know it but the lie is down below the surface, lurking for it’s time to pounce on me and win the silent battle. That’s the fear in my dream, it will accidentally happen like that. So I must be strong and kill that lie or always have my guard up. Any thoughts on this????

I watched another couple You Tube videos on being alcohol free. I can always relate and feel empowered.

I’m gonna add one positive thing about not drinking and one negative thing from when I was drinking to my strategy each day to keep it real.

Today’s strategy…

Alcohol free has given me less anxiety, actually none yet. When I was drinking I woke up with anxiety or was quick to get anxious. It was a constant struggle.

  • Girls going away party for friend. Will stick with water and pizza.
  • Time the hubby at home
  • Bed

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