I made it another day without alcohol. Horray! I still must be vigilant and can’t let my guard down. I must have a strategy for each day.
Yesterday afternoon was a low. I felt good about relaxing on a rainy day watching movies taking care of my hip and staying off the crutches.
My husband was off with the guys and came back a bit later than I expected, which hurt my feelings- so I must have been feeling sorry for myself at some level. He asked if I wanted to so something, well- I’m not drinking so going for our usual few beers was off the table. Going out to eat on the crutches in the rain didn’t sound good, plus I wanted him to go to breakfast the next morning with my daughter and son and law and then see there new home- which I told him. AS USUAL, he had an excuse not to. He had wanted to try pickle ball and it was at the same time. Seriously, he can’t try next week??? I was so mad, of course I kept it all inside.
Here’s the important part; I didn’t go for beer, I didn’t “run an errand” that ended in me buying a bottle of wine. I sulked, I cleaned up the office a bit, I cleaned the guest room linens and….I cried. For a couple of hours I was just weepy. So frustrated, so angry, so sorry for myself. I had real emotions, I didn’t hide them behind alcohol.
There is more to learn here, like clear communication- asking for what I want, expressing disappointment. Ugh…..
Anyhow..I made it another day and feel great about myself.
Make a nice dinner
Finish cleaning the office
Maybe keep sulking…but maybe talk to my husband about my disappointment in how little he is helping me and supporting me while on crutches. Either way no booze to ease the discomfort.