So I’m trying to do one mindful thing a day, even if it feels awkward. Yesterday it was to get on the elliptical and stretch. Which I did at the end of the day, and it wasn’t awkward at all. But that single goal, that mindset to get unstuck for one activity seemed to make the day produce other positive “unstuckness.” I had great conversations with loves ones, helped my daughter out by taking my grandson for a couple hours (she’s pregnant with her second and exhausted), had good interactions with coworkers. The day just flowed so well. No couch time, no feeling sorry for myself, no nap. Just a really good day. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
So today, my one mindful activity is to go to girls night. Seems like that wouldn’t be something hard to do, but for me it is. I tend to flake out at the last minute because I just don’t want to engage-I want my couch and blanket. It’s a problem, I want more meaningful relationships but don’t want to do the work so often. I feel awkward in bigger groups, I feel inadequate when they are such good friends with their awesome lives and I feel like a loser outsider. Yep, that’s what my mind creates and yes, that has to change. So I will go to girls night, I will chat and have fun and I will embrace the friendships I have- as they are and as I am. Mindful, maybe awkward but doing it.